Wrecked by Knowing
For the last few years, I've known that I want to go into ministry. That was never really a question. With only slight variation, I've pretty much known exactly what I want to study since I was young, and I'm going through with it. I haven't changed my major four different times. I haven't doubted that I'm supposed to read and write in the majority of my free time. I never had a change of heart and prayed about becoming a scientist or hotel manager. I've just known.
But unlike a lot of my friends, people don't just know. I've been asked by professors if I feel pressure from someone to be a writer and I've felt the tension from peers I'm unable to relate with.
My sophomore year of college I remember wondering if I should be doubting more. That isn't a normal thought!
My decisions have become more clear as time has gone on and things like Bible translation and women's empowerment have entered my vision, but it is still pretty much the same.
And while I entered this summer with that so clear, East Africa is not for the punctual. It is not for the sure, and the clear-headed.
Africa is for the free-spirited, and the holistic. It is for the open-minded and slow to speak. And even this last week and a half, I have been wrecked and readjusting, interrupted by always having been so sure of myself.
I am in a place in which I much learn my place, slow down, how to operate less Western, and more like Jesus.
I'm sitting on one of the most beautiful, God-touched places on Earth, finally feeling like I need God. And I am so thankful that my feet can finally be lead by God and not walking on their own strength.